Really need a break. One that doesn't involve traveling long distances to foreign country (New Jersey), catching grievous disease (New Jersey black plague), observing happy people while caged in clutches of grievous disease (attending a Italian/Irish Catholic wedding in New Jersey), and returning to looming deadlines while still grievously ill (thinking I would have been better off being run over by a New Jersey driver).

Just kidding. New Jersey rocks. They don't call it Garden State for nothing. It's like I got there, died, and went to indie film heaven. Dialogue is terse, accented, and bizarre, people really have hair like that, and yet, everything's so real. I'll be in Kevin Smith's next movie yet. Look what it's done for Ben Affleck.

I also had a whopping good time at the wedding--lots of food, open bar, and chocolate fondue fountain. Enough said. Oh and The Couple was really cute and happy. Actually, all the couples were really cute and happy. Wished I was cute and happy, instead of caged in clutches of grievous disease. Alone. But I digress.

Will enjoy the weekend, eat lots of grilled stuff, de-bug myself, and spend time with boyfriend who is, for once, not working. And possibly go to theme park, ride lots of rides, eat funnel cake, ride even more rides, and feel icky. A good icky.

Yay, can't wait.

Missed work for the second day in a row due to transformation into:



Please help me before I start watching reruns of MacGyver or marrying men in grass skirts.

Word of the day

In a world of constant information flow and little time for actual intelligence...I subscribe to the Word of the Day, to keep my verbal skills from sinking into "tha's cool, but y'all can't handle my truth," and because I like confusing the idiot peons of this region. The word of the day also seems to have an almost fortune telling element to it, forecasting how the day will be.

Today, the word was "zaftig." From Yiddish for "juicy and succulent," aka pleasantly plump or fat. So, either I am to be this, called this, or run into this. Hmmm. Check, check, check.

Yesterday, it was "faineant" from the French "fait nient." Do nothing. Idle and ineffectual. Again, amazing coincidence--worked hard on something that became ineffectual, so purposely was idle. See, there is a god.*



*Note: To be taken in jest. If offended or think I'm serious, you are an idiot peon.

Vindicated

Haha! Have curbed anger with flagrant misuse of government resources! 3 hours of blog reading and quiz taking. Take that and my $XX billion in savings!

Paging Dr. Banner....

Enraged. Hate stupid people, job, and math. Really despise stupid people at my job correcting my math and trying to do my job, considering my math is correct and the answer in their heads is wrong and I'm doing my job because they cannot.

Will smash fucking idiots.

New Life, ad nauseum

I never start a new life, a la munkeigh and countless others, but I am forever trying to alter the awful fix I am constantly in. This month, again tried to:

1) get finances in order & rid myself of high interest debt (aka stupid, bad girl debt) and converting to low-interest tax-deductible debt (aka intelligent, but still debt) since can't ever rid of all debt (aka enlightenment I will never attain!!)
2) make living space nicer without more stupid, bad girl debt (someday I will no longer have crappy broken furniture)
3) eat better (making great advances mentally--I will eat more fruit & veggies!!)
4) move my ass more often (as much as I love it, it's quite lazy)
5) save up more $ in case I'm put in traction or have mental breakdown (both completely possible and either way, will be poor)
6) not spend more money on unnecesary things that I think make me feel better about myself (more clothes...meat tenderizers...)
7) be truly sympathetic and care about people (as most suck and aren't motivating me to be social)

Hate hyper-awareness of faults. Wish I were oblivious to inability to function in society.

Have Fun In Hawaii!!

That's it. Officially depressed. Need greek food, stat.

I'm Just So Happy For You!!!

Have visited 3 wedding sites and multiple registries this evening and spent tons of money on joyous friends.

*sigh*

Won't talk about imminent depression.

But I will ask...are meat tenderizers a necessary kitchen implement? Because they've been on every wedding registry I've seen. Maybe I just haven't lived yet as I am meat tenderizer-less.

I think wedding registries are really for "salsa deck umbrellas, set of 2," "triple initial embossers," "breakfast pancake stix makers," "leather recliners with massager setting," and "chrome retro pizza ovens" aka things people always wanted, but are too expensive to buy themselves and/or will never use. I understand pricey kitchen items. Totally wedding-esque. But I draw the line at buying furniture. As if the lack of societal status is bad enough, buying their sofas and deck tables are just a slap in the face!

Now that I have a smidge of free time and no brain power whatsoever, I had to try it out:

And who knew? I guess I can switch on the male brain when I have to. Thanks to Alice, via Munkeigh for the link.

Your Brain is 73.33% Female, 26.67% Male

Your brain leans female You think with your heart, not your head Sweet and considerate, you are a giver But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

What Gender Is Your Brain?

Oh and (belated) thanks everyone for the birthday wishes...sorry that it fell on such a busy time for all. Will party later when the barbeque is out (and the deck is not so green colored).

Just in case you wanted to know, at age 29, the Buddha decided to renounce the world and abandon family and posessions. Seven years later, he realized this brought him no closer to the wisdom he sought. Good advice. Go heed this.

And sorry about the angry rant below. Ranting is just under the surface these days of spring happiness.

Stupid people, what do we know? The louder, the more "fact" supported, the more demeaning, and the more righteous you act does not make you any more correct.

P.S. We are all wrong, heretics, and assholes to boot. It just depends on who you ask. But who do we know is right? So stop it already.

Oh how I wish I were a bonobo. Then I would be intelligent, have sex when I want, and probably a zoo mommy or daddy that kept me in food. Without all the expectations of career advancement, neatness, attention to current events, eye-straining math skills, and a flare for words. Sure there might be some science experimentation, but doesn't it already feel like it's all a big experiment?

Urgh. Will return when brain has returned to more solid form.

You know it's been a bad month when you need chocolate in the morning.

Had a wonderful dream last night that I moved to Vermont to become a left-wing politico (but not a vegan--too pasty) and found my crunchy-granola fuzzy Vermontian professor of some sort of obscure artsy stuff. We even bred fine bouncing twins that we carried around in matching baby bjorn carriers. Awww, I love hormones.

Disappoint in lack of self-control and need for instant gratification.

I broke down and bought Keane. Only because program failure was preventing my illegal acts (so none committed so there.) I'm such a pop-oholic, especially if the songs are short, sweet, and oh so slightly whiny (but not in an annoying Simple Plan-ish way). And I love the lead singer's voice and the piano accompaniment. Not quite Thom Yorke, but also not quite Chris Martin.

My spree must stop. I don't need Disco Inferno--my ass does not need goading to be shaken. I don't even like Candy Shop--yeah, he wishes. Thus, I will NOT buy "Fity" Cent.

But anyone up for a trip to Boston to see my favoritest-ever soon-to-be-babydaddy-of-my-geeky-children? And the rest of his band too? May 8th!!

This is late, but this is for Munkeigh (even though she hates this stuff).

What is the total amount of music files on your computer?

7.07 GB and counting, that's not even 5 days worth or half of my CD collection.

What is the last CD you bought?

John Legend and Mars Volta, although I really wanted 50 cent and Keane but I just couldn't do it.

What was the last song you listened to before reading this message?

A Woman's Worth by Alicia Keys

Write down five songs you often listen to, or that mean a lot to you.

Argh. Fine, no ranking. And these don't necessarily remind me of people but times. I disgust myself with the squishiness of this list.

-Yesterday - Beatles
-Lovesong - The Cure
-Julula - Fighting Gravity
-Time in a Bottle - Jim Croce
-Song for a Winter's Night - Sarah McLachlan

Who are you going to pass this stick to and why?

Melanie, it astounds me how much she knows about music. Even though I disagree with the Ben Folds.

Attack of the Giant Microbes

Why do I find these so cute? Maybe it's because I have been housing this for about 2 weeks. And the Black Death is so nice and fuzzy.

Ah, I've got to give these out to young children as presents. Fluffy, instructive, and humorous! The flesh-eating virus has a fork and knife too. Hee hee!

About freakin time. But Weezer is upsetting me right now.

1) My boys are going to be putting out much delayed album #5 in May 10th. "Make Believe"--very gay name, but I have trust in Rivers.
2) Their first single is Beverly Hills and the video was supposedly filmed at the Playboy Mansion. Ack. Why, Rivers, why?! Oh, wait, I guess you really are a man. Despite being wee and geeky. Here's the audio but not the video of plasticky bouncing. Will air on MTV2 next Tuesday.

I guess musicians will be musicians.

I got into too many arguments over this, but my bleeding heart Sierra Club loving self just had to push it one more time:

ANWR is not the solution. Our esteemed Village Idiot doesn't understand that our problem is oil dependency, not the lack of oil supply.

How's this: put our efforts into creating alternative fueled or more efficient cars. Heck, forget about that non-existent global warming and just go for the political clout of not having to rely on the middle east for our livelihood.

If Americans make bad choices and want to buy monster trucks, make it very economically difficult (OK, more than now) for them. Let them complain about the prices, the taxes, the gas, until they realize it's in their personal interest not to have these trucks and SUVs.

But, as usual, Arianna Huffington says it so much better:

Exhibit A is the president's bizarre and long-standing obsession with drilling for oil in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, which just got Senate approval last week. I mean, how retro can you get? Instead of pushing to increase fuel-efficiency standards that could save millions of barrels of oil each day and calling for a national commitment to invest in renewable sources of energy, he's after one more fix of dinosaur byproducts from one of the world's last pristine places.

Which might be understandable if making an Exxon Mobil theme park out of the refuge would reduce our dependence on foreign oil. But it won't. At best, there's only enough oil there to satisfy U.S. demand for about six months. And it won't be available for at least a decade -- which is the only forward-looking aspect to Bush's ANWR dream.

Right on, sister.

Next blog will be on something non-political, I swear...

Don't you hate it when you start laughing about something and you can't stop giggling whenever you think about it?

Don't you hate relying on cold medicine to get you through the day (and night and day)?

These things aren't related at all. No sir.

hee hee...freakish roadside monuments of the hand of god...ho ha

Really, I can't explain it, or I might have an intervention on my hands.